The Walmart Games
by Doctor Sexy
Summary: AU: Sometime in the near future Clove, Gale, Cato, Katniss, and Peeta set out to go on a camping trip. Unfortunately for them, the government was testing a new biochemical weapon and it went horribly wrong resulting in a fog that makes it unsafe to go outside. So they're stuck in Walmart, fighting, flirting, and more. There will be a fiveway relationship I am warning you of this.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Well, I had a weird dream and it amused me so I decided to make a story of it. I know it's weird._

* * *

_**Chapter 1: Clove**_

It was the motherfucking apocalypse. No, not the zombie apocalypse we all expected. Worse. It was fucking fog. Yes, fog. But fog that made your not only your flesh disintegrate, but your bones, too. Yeah.

Well, it was the result of a government experiment gone wrong. When I heard about it, I was at Walmart. Walmart's a fucking stupid place but it was actually one of the best places to be in this instance. Because we were going to need a shit ton of food. Like a lifetime supply.

We were there getting camping supplies. The five of us. Cato, Gale, Peeta, Katniss, and me. We needed a couple of tents, marshmallows, that kind of thing. We would stop at the liquor section, too. I was still eighteen, but Cato and Gale were twenty-one and they could buy beer for all of us.

I'm looking at the tents, cheap things. "How many do we need?" I asked. This was a complex question because it required knowing the sleeping arrangements. It depended how drunk we got and if anyone was going to get laid. I wouldn't share a tent with Katniss. Gale wouldn't share a tent with Peeta. It was like one of those stupid riddles we did when we were kids.

Cato and Gale were with standing with me looking at the tents. Katniss had gone to get tampons or whatever. Peeta was somewhere.

"I think we need two tents," Cato said.

"How do you figure that?" Gale asked.

"You sleep with Katniss and Peeta and Clove sleep with me," Cato said. Cato apparently had no intentions of getting laid.

"Okay but if we're going to have a threesome did you really have to pick Baker's Boy?" I asked.

"I thought Clove and I would share," Gale said casually. Apparently Gale did have intentions of getting laid.

"Alright, then Katniss and Peeta can share," Cato said.

"You're sleeping by yourself then," Gale said. He was staring Cato down. Cato was not taking the hint.

"I was thinking of sharing with Peeta," I said, mostly to be controversial.

"Okay, then Peeta can join us," Gale challenged.

"Why don't we all just share and have an orgy?" I asked.

"Oh," Cato said. "I didn't know you two were..." He stood there awkwardly unable to finish that sentence. Gale and I stood there glaring at each other. It wasn't that I was opposed to sleeping with him. It was more that I wanted to be the boss.

That was when Peeta came running up. "Guys!"

"What?" Gale asked, almost yelling.

That was when someone came on the intercom. "Due to the hazardous fog outside Walmart is asking that you do not leave the store for your own safety until further notice. For more information, please see the channel 8 news that is playing in the electronics section."

"Hazardous fog?" I said. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"No, seriously," Peeta said. "It's some sort of biochemical warfare. You'll die if you go outside."

"What?" Cato asked.

"Come on," Peeta said, dragging Cato by the wrist to the electronics section. There on the screen was some crappy footage of someone melting. Like the fucking Wicked Witch of the West.

"Jesus," I said.

"That's got to be some kind of joke," Cato said.

"Why don't you go outside and check?" Gale asked.

"So, what we just have to stay here forever?" I asked.

"Until they find a way to stop the fog, yeah, basically," Peeta said.

"Well, then I think we should crack open the beer," Gale said, patting me on the shoulder.

"Gale, you're not getting laid in a Walmart," Peeta said.

"You don't know that," Gale said.

"If we have to live the rest of our lives here, he probably is going to get laid," Katniss said, walking over.

"Is that an offer, Katnip?" Gale asked.

"Drop dead," Katniss said.

"Gale, fetch me some beer," I said.

"Sure thing, sweetheart," Gale said, wandering off. Katniss rolled her eyes at me.

"Where are we going to sleep?" Peeta asked.

"The floor," Katniss said. "There's blankets and pillows. We'll be fine."

"You're sure this isn't a joke," Cato asked Peeta. I wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement.

"Yeah, it's totally serious," Peeta said.

"I'm going to go get some beer then," Cato said. Cato and Gale were twenty-one, while the rest of us were nineteen.

"I guess that just leaves the three of us," Peeta said awkwardly. There was no secret that there was animosity between Katniss and I. Not to mention the whole Peeta was in love with Katniss and she just wasn't interested thing. So the three of us alone together was awkward to say the least.

"Yes, I guess it does," Katniss said. "I'm hungry. I'm going to Subway."

"I'll come with you," Peeta said.

I found Gale and Cato at the checkout line. "Why are you paying?" I asked. "We live here now we can just take whatever we want."

"Is that true?" Cato asked the guy who worked there.

The guy shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Well, in that case..." Gale said. "Let's get this party started."

"The losers are at Subway," I said. "If you wanted to join them." This was a test. Gale was not supposed to want to join them.

"How about we hit up the lawn furniture section?" Gale asked. I smiled. I knew it didn't exactly mean he was picking me over Katniss, but that's what it felt like.

Cato and Gale lugged two 24-packs back to a patio set on the other side of the store. "I don't think we need this much for the three of us," I commented.

"What are you scared?" Cato asked.

"Scared you're going to die of alcohol poisoning?" I asked. "Maybe."

Gale sat down on a patio chair, putting his feet up on the table and cracking open a beer. "You weigh, what? Eighty pounds, Clove? You'll be drunk after one."

"I weigh a hundred and ten pounds," I said. Gale just laughed. I took a beer and chugged the entire thing back. It tasted like warm piss, but I drank it anyway.

Anyway, about an hour later or two later there was only one 24 pack left. "Come here, Clove. Sit on my lap," Gale said, tapping his thigh.

"Nuh-uh," I said. "I'm sitting on Cato's lap." I had five or six, and as I said I weigh a hundred and ten pounds so I was feeling it. I went over and sat on Cato's lap and kissed his forehead. Cato turned bright red.

"Fuck you," Gale said. I don't know how many he had, but it was enough that he was actually crying.

"Hey, Gale," Cato said. "What's wrong?"

"I try so fucking hard," Gale said. "And no one gives a shit."

I got up out of Cato's lap. "Gale..." I said. I sat in his lap and started tickling his stomach. I buried my head in his shoulder.

"Fuck off, Clove," Gale said.

"Clove," Cato said. "Get off him."

I got up and sat on my own chair.

"I care," Cato said.

Gale was still drinking. "Cato."

"Yeah, buddy?" Cato asked.

"Come sit in my lap," Gale said.

"He's going to literally crush you," I said.

"Come here, sexy," Gale said, patting his lap like Cato was a dog he was calling over. Cato looked at me. He didn't seem that drunk. He looked and me and shrugged. He went over and sat in Gale's lap. It looked awkward as fuck.

"See?" Gale said to me. "Cato loves me."

"I don't think sitting in your lap is synonymous with loving you," I commented.

"Maybe you should eat something," Cato said to Gale.

"No," Gale said. "Kiss me."

Part of me wanted to tell Gale he was fucking crazy and shut this down, but then again I really wanted to see them make out. "Kiss him! Kiss him, Cato. Kiss him!"

"Gale..." Cato said. He was the only sober one and he was losing control over the situation. "You're really drunk and emotional."

"And you're really sexy and adorable."

"If this is how you flirt no wonder no one wants to sleep with you, Hawthorne," I said.

"Clove, you're not helping," Cato said.

"One kiss," Gale said.

Cato leaned over and planted one on Gale's lips, slowly. No tongue, as far as I could tell. It looked like a wedding kiss.

"What the-" Katniss said, her and Peeta showing up out of nowhere.

"Katniss..." Gale said as if he were going to explain himself, but he was so far beyond that point.

"I guess we figured out the tent situation," I said. "But who's top?"

"How much have they had to drink?" Peeta asked.

"Gale drank..." I started counting on my fingers, but I gave up. "A lot."

"You should lie down," Cato told Gale.

"I'll get some blankets," Peeta said.

"Suck up," Katniss said.

"I was just trying to be helpful," Peeta said.

"Well, I guess we know who won't be sleeping together," I said.

"Shut up, Clove," Katniss said. "Why'd you let him drink so much?"

"Gale's a grown ass man," I said. "I don't control him and neither do you."

"I never said I did," Katniss said.

"Blankets," Peeta said, leaving.

Cato got out of Gale's lap and went and sat back on his chair.

"Gale do you have an erection?" I asked.

"Oh, gross!" Katniss said, looking away.

"Give him a break," Cato said.

"Wow, so you actually love him," I said.

"Clove, not helping," Cato said.

"You're all fucking sluts," Gale said.

"Yeah, we're all sluts because we won't sleep with you. That makes sense," I said.

"This has gotten really out of hand," Katniss said. "Maybe we all better sleep."

Cato looked at his watch. "It's three in the afternoon."

"Yeah, well we live in a Walmart now. Life's different," Katniss said. "And you're all wasted."

Peeta returned with some blankets and a pillow, lying them out on the floor. "Gale, go lie down," Cato said.

"Come lie down with me," Gale said.

"Do not lie down with him," Katniss threatened.

Gale laid down on the ground. Cato laid down next to him. "Go to sleep, buddy."

"Yes, sir," Gale said.

"Are they dating now?" Peeta asked.

"No," Cato said.

"Yes," Gale said.

"Gale go to sleep," Cato said.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Cato

There was only one thought swimming around in my head while Gale laid next to me, snoring away.

Fuck.

It wasn't even just because of the stupid fog that was killing people. That I could handle. This was worse. I had kissed Gale. And everyone had seen.

Well what was I supposed to do? He asked me to. And chances like that don't just roll around everyday. But now everyone was going to be watching me. Clove had already made some stupid comment about me being in love with him. Even if it was true, I couldn't have everyone knowing that. It would be one thing if Gale was capable of feeling the same way about me, but he was all over the place. He liked Clove, he liked Katniss. The one thing I knew for sure was that he didn't like me. Right?

At least that was what I thought when he wasn't drunk. But then he had gotten really drunk. Again. He had called me sexy and said we were dating. But I knew that was not going to last when he had sobered up.

So anyway, I was lying on the Walmart floor on a comforter next to Gale because that was the only way I could make him sleep off his bender.

"So what are we supposed to do to kill time here?" Katniss asked.

"There are movies, video games, books," Peeta pointed out.

"Yeah," Katniss said, but I could tell she wasn't thrilled about it.

"We can always get drunk and sleep with Gale," Clove said. "You know since he'd sleep with anyone."

"I really don't think Gale would sleep with me," Peeta said.

"I really don't want to sleep with Gale," Katniss said.

"How about you, Cato?" Clove said. "Have you set your standards low enough to shag Hawthorne yet? Or would he shag you? You'll have to let me know how the logistics go."

"Fuck off, Clove," I said.

"Mmm..." Gale mumbled into his pillow. He placed his arm around my waist. I should have been enjoying this. But instead I was worried about what would happen when he came to his senses. Did Gale know how I really felt?

"When's the wedding?" Clove asked.

"We already got married like two months ago," Gale said, rolling over.

"Is that supposed to be funny Gale?" Katniss asked.

"No, I'm serious," Gale said. "We were really drunk and we thought it would be hilarious."

"That's a joke," Peeta said, but he didn't look so sure.

Actually, it wasn't. This wasn't the first time Gale had gotten this drunk, and well... when it happened in Vegas, things got weird.

"Shut up, Gale," Clove said.

"We actually are married," I admitted. "Gale won't sign the annulment papers."

"But I love you, Boo," Gale said.

"Gale you have a serious alcohol problem," I said.

"Apparently very serious if he got drunk enough to marry you," Clove said.

"First Cato's too good for me, and now I'm too good for Cato. Which one is it, Clove?" Gale asked, sitting up.

"You're both thirsty bitches," Clove said.

"Really, Clove?" Katniss asked. "Are you sure you're not just jealous?"

"Coffee," Peeta said. "We all need coffee."

"Not now, Peeta," Katniss said.

"Did you do it the night you got married?" Clove asked.

"I don't remember," Gale said.

"We didn't," I said, more telling Gale than Clove.

"Well then we still need to solve the mystery of who is bottom," Clove said.

"Can you shut up for like five minutes, Clove?" Katniss asked.

"She's just joking around," Peeta said.

"So now you're on her side?" Katniss asked.

"Katniss you and I are the only sober ones, we have to be sane enough for everyone," Peeta said.

"I'm sober," I said, not that anyone cared.

"You kissed Gale sober?" Katniss asked, a look of condescension on her face.

"We're married," Gale said.

"I'm aware of that," Katniss said. "I'm also aware your marriage is a joke."

"Not necessarily," Gale said.

"Notice how we're only married after you've had at least fifteen beers?" I asked him.

"Social lubricant," Gale said, and then started laughing because he said lubricant.

"I'm divorcing you if you don't sober up," I said. I wasn't really sure if that was a threat or not.

"But if he's sober he doesn't want to be married to you," Katniss pointed out.

"Baby, don't leave me," Gale said.

"Gale are you aware that no one can tell if you're serious or not?" Peeta asked.

"I don't think he knows if he's serious," Katniss said.

"He's probably using humour to mask his latent homosexuality," Clove suggested.

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

"It means he's gay for you but doesn't want to admit it," Clove explained.

"Fuck you, Clove," I said.

"But no," Clove said. "He wants to fuck you. Or you to fuck him. Seriously who is bottom?"

"Cato's bottom," Gale said.

"Thank you," Clove said.

"Why am I bottom?" I asked.

"Because my dick's bigger," Gale said.

"So you've been comparing," Clove inferred.

"I have," Gale said. "But I'll check again just in case."

I stood up quickly. "Gale, this isn't funny anymore. This is actually really sad."

"Don't be sad," Gale said.

"I am not sad. You are sad," I said. "Sad as in pathetic." Gale stood up and walked away. He then came back and took the beer. "Gale... Listen, I didn't mean that." He kept walking away. "Gale, you can't drink anymore you've had way too much already." He kept walking.

I tried a new strategy. "Gale, honey?" The words sounded disgusting to my ears, but there was no doubt about it. When Gale got drunk, he got super gay for me.

Gale sat on the floor, putting the beer beside him. "Cato?"

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," I said.

"I'm drunk," he said simply.

"That's why I think we should talk when you're sober," I said.

"I want to talk now."

I sighed and sat down next to him. "You never feel the same way sober as you do drunk."

"I love you either way," Gale said.

I wrapped my arm around him. "I love you, too. But you need to stop drinking so much. It hurts me." I'm pretty sure he was crying again.

"I don't mean to," he said.

"I know."

"I have a problem," Gale said.

"Yeah. You do, buddy," I said.

"Why do you call me buddy?" he asked.

"Sorry."

"No, I like it," Gale said.

"Are we actually dating?" I asked.

"Nope," Gale said. There was a big lopsided smile on his face. "We're married."

"Gale, you can't keep doing this to me," I said.

"Doing what?" he asked.

"Toying with me," I said.

"If I was toying with you, you'd know it," Gale said. That was when he started reaching over and undoing my pants.

"Gale, stop," I said.

"Yes, Gale stop," Katniss said, walking up behind us.

"We weren't..." I said trying to find some sort of explanation. But there wasn't one.

"Not yet," Gale said.

"Gale, whatever this is..." I said, motioning at him and I. "Is over. This isn't working."

"Cato, buddy..." Gale started.

"No," I said, walking away. "I can't."


	3. Chapter 3: Gale

"Fuck," I said, rolling over. Where the hell was I? I opened my eyes. Jesus Christ. I was wearing a red lacy bra. I tried to remember what the hell happened last night? Yesterday? I couldn't tell. I was in the middle of the women's lingerie section of Walmart.

"Hey, sweetheart," Clove said, smiling at me.

"Jesus fuck Clove how long have you been there?" I asked.

"A couple of minutes. You've been out for like 24 hours."

"What happened?"

"You made a massive ass of yourself," Clove said. "The usual."

"How bad?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Your wife is filing for divorce," Clove said.

"Cato?" I asked.

"Yes, Cato. How many people are you married to?" Clove asked.

"He filed for divorce like two days after we got married," I said. "I knew that."

"Do you remember anything?" Clove asked. I shook my head. "You made him kiss you and then you proceeded to try to get him to have sex with you until he broke up with you."

"We weren't together in the first place," I said.

"You could have been if you didn't massively screw it up," Clove said.

"Aren't you supposed to try to have sex with your wife on your honeymoon?" I asked.

Cato, Katniss and Peeta joined us. "We're not having our fucking honeymoon at Walmart," Cato said.

"Oh, I forgot. You live in your fancy suburbs and can afford anything," I said.

"I don't live in the suburbs!" Cato said.

"Well, it wasn't wife number one," I said, looking at Katniss. "So it must be wife number two." I looked at Peeta. Things had not ended well between us.

"I live at the bakery with my parents," Peeta said.

"Then who the hell am I thinking of?" I asked.

"I live in a mansion, just so you know," Cato said.

"And you've never invited me?" I asked. "Or is it only for people who can afford to shower?"

"You can't afford to shower?" Clove asked, laughing.

"We don't have running water," I said.

"Well, if we were married then you could come live with me in my mansion, but we aren't so you can't," Cato said.

"Yes, we are married. Whether you like it or not," I said.

"None of us can leave anyway," Katniss pointed out. "The fog, remember?"

"Are you actually sober yet?" Cato asked.

"Yeah," I said. "What do you want?"

"He wants an emotionally and sexually fulfilling marriage," Clove said.

"Basically that," Cato said.

"I am far too sober for this," I said.

"That's what I thought," Cato said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"It's supposed to mean you're an alcoholic that's not capable of a real relationship," Cato said.

"He's right," Katniss said. "You've been married three times and none of them were successful."

"Wait... three times?" Clove asked. "To who?"

Katniss and Peeta looked away. I ignored Clove. "So wait... when we got married... you actually wanted to get married?"

"And you didn't," Cato said.

"Awkward," Clove said.

"You mean like... We'd live together and have kids and stuff?" I asked.

"That is generally what people do when they get married," Katniss said. "You know, not when we got married but that's because we didn't love each other."

Ouch.

"Do you love Cato, Gale?" Clove asked.

"Umm..." I said. I looked up at Cato. "Could we maybe be alone for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure," Peeta said. "Come on, guys."

"If we're going to have a serious conversation can you take off that bra?" Cato asked.

I took the stupid bra off. I don't know why I was wearing it anyway. "Married, for real?" I asked.

"I wouldn't have married you if I didn't want to," Cato said.

"I'm not good at being married," I said.

"I noticed," he said.

"Cato..." I said. This was awkward as fuck. "I love you, I do."

"...but?"

"I'm only going to disappoint you," I said.

He came and sat next to me. Close. I could feel the heat emanating from his body. "Gale... All I need is to know you actually care."

I put my hand on his knee. "I do."

"Yeah, but you've been married three times. You're practiced at saying I do."

"Cato, you're my best friend," I said. "And the hottest of all my wives. Don't tell Katniss that though."

"You think I'm hot?" Cato asked.

"Very," I said.

"So you and I..." Cato started to say.

"You and I what?" I asked.

"You can see us actually... you know..." He shrugged.

I was starting to remember a bit of the day before. I could remember Clove wanting to know who was top. "You can be top if you want," I said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure." Although to be honest I'd never taken it in the rear and I was a little worried.

Something flew right into my head. "Ow! What the fuck?" I turned to where it had come from and there was Clove winking at me. It was fucking KY jelly. She had probably been listening the whole time. I raised both middle fingers at her.

"Where would we even have sex in a Walmart?" Cato asked.

"Well..." I started to say. He looked intrigued so I continued. "We could always go in the back room."

Clove was giving me two thumbs up.

"Uhh... Yeah, I guess," Cato said.

"Great, let's do it."


End file.
